srinderella react to BTS 'ON'

well

 I started to cry on 0:46

just right when RM's solo part started

it's like I meet an old friend

the aroma of coffee, lingering on our nose

we haven't been catch up on what's going on for a long time

both of us are so occupied with our own activity 

but just by a short story

it's like (s)he understands what's going on with in my life lately

without much details, 

(s)he knows it very well

that I started to cry...

That I realised, I've been through so many things 

when it's just the 2nd month of 2020

'it's okay, you're doing very well... thank you'

...

just like when BTS released 'Run'

I was wanted to 'Run'

I wanted to runaway to chase something abstract called 'my dream'

just like when BTS released 'Forever Young'

it was almost the end of spring, and the summer is approaching

I was one step closer to that abstract thing - I got into my first ever job

it was a bit like what I've always wanted

it's never to late to get what you want

you just need to keep working on what you want

just like when BTS released 'Not Today'

I was struggling, trying to do my best

to get 'the approval' - not letting anyone bring me down

tho I was failed

just like when BTS released 'Love Yourself'

I was again - questioning my existense 

at the age of late 20's

just like when BTS released 'Boys with Luv'

Maybe I started to know myself better, 

I fall in love again with myself

and today with 'ON'

I got jailed, in a 'beautiful prison'

it so beautiful - I want to stay

or more like I should stay

it's okay, this prison taught me so many things no one can :)

it's okay that not everyone understand

the wound soon will dry, and became my winning trophy

it's okay

you're doing very well

Thank You

미치지 않으려면 미쳐야 해

'gotta go insane, to stay sane'

BTS 'ON'

Emmm...Girl's Only? Inspired by Movie Ocean 8

-- disclaimer : no - I am not going to write about 101: Being a Criminal for Dummies -- 

please, please excuse my vocabulary and the grammatical errors.

So, Hi again~

I hit my laptop as soon as finished cleaning up upon I arriving at home -

it's 1 am here and I just came back from watching 'Ocean's 8' - yeah that movie about bunch of female thieves.

(yes, it's Ramadhan and I could've doing i'tikaf, but my cycle force me not to :( )

No it's not something to be proud of (to be home at 1 am, driving alone and I was violating some traffic rule, oops) but, I just need to write these down  here to remind future me -- who might had mood swings, slight depression or the same old problems: insecurities.

So

The movie could just be a 'female version ocean series' (I always love Ocean 11-13 tho) like what people have predicted -  but what aspire me was the girl power spirit and taking vengeance upon your ex to the next level (it's not like I have an ex that needs some kick in the butt - but I can say I encounter some similar situation - I have sort of hatters).

All along the movie what's on my mind was,'Which should I go next? What things should I learn next (insert: considering of going back to university to pursue another degree). I want to go to New York (tbh I've never wanted to go to NY, but I just changed my mind: I want to go see Metropolitan Museum of Art where Met Gala happens. Ok). And...I want to learn how to negotiate - no - more like I must learn how to negotiate. 

You're The Cause of My (fake) Euphoria

When I am tired

When I am alone

When I need to be understood

When I need some affection 

When I need (fake) euphoria

I can only rely on you 

you

you

you

N*scafe White Coffee packed in box

):)

You'll be the cause of my (fake) euphoria

I'll be dancing

I'll be singing

I will believe I still have some hope

I will believe I still have a cause 

You're the cause of my euphoria

....

***

Finally a post TT_TT

 I've been sooo frustrated dealing with my writer's block

writer's block on doing this wretched blog (ikr)

I was thinking nothing express me better than my blog

so when I couldn't drop a single letter (!) 

it hurts me so much

it feels like a constipation

but on a yearly basis (Naudzubillah)

SO how's life?

mine is... a bit... changing

I have (nearly) found the real meaning of

'stay out of my comfort zone'

I HAVE CROSSED MY COMFORT ZONE PEOPLE!!!

I am currently on the actual war  

that I've been avoiding for my entire life

but PRAISE TO THE LORD Alhamdulillah

in this chaos, he sent me a new hope

besides N*scafe White Latte packed in box 
(I don't really drink canned drink, because I have this habit to not only finish the drink, but also biting it's straw), 
BTS and it's deep song, 
God also sent me Lucas and his boys ok... 
let's forget all the past and begin a new start!!! 

P.S : Sorry to other group I've been favoring at, I couldn't mention one by one because my current obsession is BTS, Lucas and his boys (maybe I will add JaeHyun and Jeno, so it become Lucas, Jaehyun, Jeno and them Boys), wait! Can I add one more : it's RedVelvet's Luv Kit (seulgi shade) and their latest A side 'Bad Boy' ... it's enough. 

ok ENOUGH!

(sigh)

at least I've define my comfort zone

next : I gotta figured my goal and my cause

hope it's not too late because I've spent 27 years ( :( ) breathing and doing nothing meaningful other than making korean idol group become richer by selling them album.

GOOD BYE my mid 20's 

I'll be 30 in 3 years.

(sigh)

Hello this is Lucas

credits to google

***

latest obsession:



and I want to rant here:
why the h*ll they use 'Claire De Lune' out of billions of classic composition!
THIS GOT ME LUNATIC cause it will grow more of MY PERSONAL CONNECTION towards BTS :(

I used to plan to fly to Korea for them next comeback
It was supposed to be my birthday gift from me to me
but why it's on Ramadhan :(
WHYYY

and how dare you use euphoRIA as the title.
WHY BTS WHY *big hit*
how much more will you play with my heart.

and oh
don't forget April 22nd 2018 will mark 1 year anniversary of Wings Tour Bangkok tragedy...
uuurgh still want's to see them live :(

6months later : The Serendipity

Hi!

Basically... I am starting something new...

now it's not 'starting', but more like 'I have started'.

On my despair perspective it's like I am back to zero, but on my positive perspective I am starting something new. I am a bit of on the middle of those two.

Well, I was always thinking to back to be blogger, just to resonate my positive energy.

Which now, I need the most.

On this comeback post, 

I am just going to put BTS (well practically it's 2 and half minutes full of Jimin's voice) latest teaser for their 'Love Yourself' comeback.

Nooo, I am not that smarty nor deep enough to talk about the hidden meaning or the semiotics of the video.

OK, 

IT'S JUST WHY ON THE EARTH THEY CHOOSE 'SERENDIPITY' and JIMIN SOLO.

I AM JUST SO WEAK HEARTED. AND AND THE ALBUM WILL BE CALLED 'LOVE YOURSELF', which is my main issue :(

'Serendipity' is just like my life value, I seldom had the thing called 'expectation' and I am kind of spontaneous type of person... simply because I believe on serendipity... I just work on my own pace, and believe the good thing will come eventually if it's meant to be.

Be a One Day Princess! - Tea Cupping with Havelteh

Kembali ke Sabtu 18 Februari 2017, satu bulan yang lalu...

Saya berkesempatan untuk menjadi princess sehari~ (yah sebenernya cuma 2jam sih dari 24 jam)...tapi sungguh...sebuah kesempatan yang membuat saya merasa 'ningrat'.

Jadi, acara tea cupping yang dipersembahkan oleh Havelteh ini adalah sebuah bentuk pengenalan tentang teh, segalanya tentang teh! Mulai dari sejarah teh di Indonesia, jenis-jenis daun teh... dan yang paling seru (menurut saya) saya bisa nyobain produk-produk Havelteh hihi.

I (always) wanna know what's the weather like in Seoul

 mood;



no, 
it's not like I want to go to Seoul again,
yes I want to, 
but it doesn't like, what you're thinking about

we're approaching 2017
this year, I've achieved some of things which it was just a dream
but I am still longing for that long 'escape'
I am surrounded by lovely people
but I am still longing for that long 'escape'

I am not always dance-pop, sometimes I can be folk, slow jam or r&b 

well, I just have to believe that day will come
I am still mesmerized how 2016 is like a party wrapped in mysterious box with a ribbon made of gold 

and oh this is the last Sunday on 2016
last year, it was my 31st day before my flight to fulfill my fantasy  

[Kafe Surabaya] ke Cambium yuk!

Jadi...bagaimana dengan weekend kalian readers? 

(ceileh sok-sok nyapa, pake sebutan readers pula)

Weekend saya minggu ini cukup sempurna ya, dikelilingi banyak teman, ada schedule ngelapak dan...saya dapat undangan penting nih ffuffu...

Ceritanya...salah dua teman saya dapat mandat suci untuk mengelola sebuah kafe baru di daerah Manyar. Bagi yang seumuran sama saya dan waktu SD sekolah di daerah Surabaya Timur mungkin familiar deh dengan toko buku Manyar - iya yang itu! Tempat beli buku paket, LKS sama 'perang bintang' (ya ampun diingat-ingat hidupku agak berat ya dari SD kerjaannya berjuang di 'perang bintang')... Nah di tahun 2016 ini ada yang baru di Toko Buku Manyar, lokasi yang dulunya (seinget saya) buat jualan mukenah, perlengkapan haji, stationary, dll sudah 'disulap' menjadi kafe dengan gaya farm house.

 ini semacam wall of fame nya Cambium deh, kalian wajib foto di dinding yang unik nih...hmmm cuss buruan sebelum jadi mainstream :v

Memang ngga salah kalau sang Owner memilih nama Cambium untuk kafenya, karena interior kafe ini kurang lebihnya 85% terbuat dari kayu, yang menarik nih ternyata sang Owner sendiri yang mendesain interior plus perabotannya...tapi yang personally bikin perasaan senang sih spot di samping jendela, karena berhadapan langsung dengan jalan raya dengan pemandangan pohon-pohon plus bapak-bapak penjual kue rangin, daan..pas banget hari itu lagi bersemi ada kembang-kembang berguguran gitu...berasa jadi tokoh utama di drama Cinta di Musim Cherry :").

now playing : BTS - Love is Not Over (full version)

I just realize something very - very important.

I realize I don't deserve to love someone or to be loved by someone yet...

thus I don't know what love is

but I feel like I don't have enough love

for my self

Walking Slow *tick tack*

Should be ashamed of myself,
I said that I am preparing something

*for this blog*

but nothing come up until now :'D

WELL!!!
life is full of surprise for these past 3weeks

so maybe this blog need to wait a liiittle bit more

***

so here is a nice soundtrack

well, my soundtrack

"Under the flower petals raining down 

I run, so lost in this maze

Even when I fall and hurt myself 

I Keep running toward my dream

FOREVER EVER EVER
WE ARE YOUNG"

***

The beauty of cherry blossom tree and it's petal still lingering on my mind

sedang mempersiapkan sesuatu

MAJOR LAYOUT CHANGE!
how is it?

new start~
 
o yeah
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

not a cherry blossom ending

3 Words

Success

yes s s

Health

yes

Experience

ye sssssssssssssssssssssss

Just for fun =))

for motivation purposes only

let's make a wonderful 2016!

P.S: I am not ready yet for November 2016 lmao

D-21

31days to...

less number to be counted down,

it's getting closer

I became more~ nervous

what will be happened  ?

It's going to be special.

Because I believe it.

To be honest, my anthem since 2011 (the Korean ver. one)

bring the boys out!

두개월~ quiet exit

(every picture attached are related and it creates a story)

 *mandatory selca,

/was extremely shocked/

the thing is : 

when you thought about how you're the best planner

and make plan A to Z until plan A1

you know who is the best planner

it's Allah...

but that doesn;t mean you have to stop making plan.

signal.

I guess there are no coincidences in this world

so

everything comes with a signal

it means

before something is going to be happened

there will be a signal

like when you're left feet is itching so bad /that it annoys you/

old people said it's a signal that you're going to go somewhere far

and 

stumbling upon

this K-drama titled 'High Society'

is a signal for me

to look up into my vision and my missions

the main character somehow remind me 

about this girl /me/

I still need to prepare lots of thing

I guess. 

P.S: The Drama got boring starts from episode 4

mood:

map

a map

some people are struggling to read a map 

while some other people think 'it's their cup of a tea'

some people reach their destination 

because of a map

whilst some other lost into an unknown destination

because of a map 

so

*

cheers~ 

mood:

Tribute to Young Boys Who Helped Me Finish my Thesis

dear husband,

please forgive me if I use shirtless photo of this young boy who has an amazing high notes, falsettos and adlib as my phone wallpaper

I am purely interested to him because of his voice

and fyi he and his group helped my graduated
you didn't event present at those days
where have you been

and oh, this guy's voice is killing me as well:

so please play them most flirty song 

in case you want to ask me out

so oh-

you better have a beautiful voice , esp with high notes
maybe we could make a killing duo 

bye

serendipity

just booked a travel plan to some beach few hours ago

and that picture popped out on my timeline

no.

mood:

BTS have the cheesiest flirting song and it doesn't sounds awkward (at least for me) so I picked that song as my current mood

/serendipity/

just kidding.

Woman from U.N.C.L.E

so it was a random Saturday nite with my sister, 

apparently mom went to another city, so we're kinda free :v 

I decided to go to a cinema, since from 3months ago I really really really wanted to watch a movie 

any movie as long as watching it at cinema :3

Men from U.N.C.L.E was worth it

because:

1. Hot Guy (with accent, with apron, with gun, with bike, etc)
2. it has 60's era as the time setting - SO VINTAGE

3. it was an action movie - which has been my favorite, since I don't know when

4. The story was a complete plot twist *or it was me who were to dumb to realize*

and

5. I found my new role model



well, you decide.

***

I decided

Victoria Vinciguerra as my new role model.

no no! it wasn't because she is a wife of rich man and live a super luxury life *with a price to pay*.

It was because she is a wife who is smart, graceful, ambitious, beautiful, stylist, and surprisingly a kind of wife who will hold her husband's dignity into the last drop of her blood. How inspiring~

how bad the husband is, it is his woman's duty to keep his dignity, it is his woman's duty to support him, it is his woman's duty to show him the right path *to be success*.

Reveal how bad he is means a woman is not any better - why decide to choose him anyway. 

hey I have a skeptical view toward marriage so...being wife is about those thing.

There is a great woman behind a great man, right?. 

 ***

and fyi that blonde guy is my current obsession *as seen on the movie*

*oh I don't know when will this starstruck syndrome will end*

a smart, stiff, cold, conventional, tall and possibly boring person (as a man) never fail to awe me
(plus he speaks a lot of language, and a effing good driver)

and ey~ I was enjoying their bromance;) 

this post is sponsored by my starstruck-ness and caffeine effect

Thanks dear Iced Moccacino you made my night

mood:

so darling~ let's dance under Rome's starry night ;)

and since alcohol is forbidden let's have a cup of sugar free black coffee instead.